Tag Archives: uptrees

Professor Gauntlett

Who in the…  is professor Gauntlett?

An intriguing science nut with a scrambled head full of neurones firing haphazardly, creating intricate connections both useless and ingenious. A good egg. His work in nuclear and particle physics led to his discovery of Time Accelerated Growth Handles. (TAGH’s).

Professor Gauntlett

He was thrown off the Cern science project (Big Hadron Collider), when his zeal for the depleted environment had him attempting to turn the Collider into a super charged TAGH applicator for reforesting Europe and North Africa, returning much of the land to a pre Medieval condition and sequestering billions of tons of CO2 from the atmosphere. This he maintains is still his hope and dream although he is worried about the implications for trusting only science in solving our overconsumption and CO2 release.

His adjustments to the Collider at Cern were deemed to be sabotage and his TAGH’s were only theory at that stage. The scientific community have largely dismissed his (literally) ground breaking work in chronological displacement, in part due to his scattered delivery at presentations of TAGH theory, along with his eccentric and confusing papers. He confesses to understanding the communication problem and blames his ineptitude on a bad fall out of a tree in his thirties while studying the Fibonacci sequence of branches and twigs and twiglets and buds and leaves and roots and trunks. Since then he’s had trouble packaging his ideas for the academic world.

I’m certain the scientific community won’t be able to deny him the lime light for much longer!

prof_gauntlett_presentationa

Working with Professor Ragnhild Lie

Hence my meeting the professor for the first time at Stamsund international theatre festival in the North of Norway while he was sharing his work with school children. A willing and interested audience.

Prof-lab-01

The first successful, and I should say revolutionary TAGH experiment was executed inside his Stamsund lab.

I can’t believe I’m the only ‘journalist’ covering this story!

The seed of a Mountain Ash tree was treated inside his crude very small hadron collider and embedded with the self replicating TAGH’s, – directed inside the splitting cells of the tree during photosynthesis via an opened ‘black (pin) hole’. Simply put the potential tree is collected from the future and released in the present in an instant. (I don’t fully understand the science).

Prof-lab-02

This seed, he told me, was not supposed to be detonated inside the lab! Dropping the seed there and breaking the plasma field was both extremely dangerous and in his words, ‘the happiest day of my life’.

The tree plunged its roots into the soil beneath and burst up through the floor of the lab taking the Professor with it up into its newly hatched branches, crashing through the roof and breaking open the walls with ‘shattering glass splintering scattered splinteringly and scatteringly everywhere’ he told me. He was lucky to get away with only a few bruises!

Prof-lab-03

prof_gauntlett_presentation_b

I was immediately fascinated by his innocence and rebellious fervour. An ageing prodigy with a passion for nature who stumbled on the most revolutionary advance in science since the first hominid whittled a wheel and rolled something from A to B.

Professor Gauntlett is bilingual, – Norwegian English like me, with roots in both of these countries. Some people have said there is a similarity between the two of us, – I don’t see it, but I am honoured to have met him and have to say his time machine aged whiskey is truly excellent!

One of the Prof's T.M.A cheeses called the Psyberartist.

One of the Prof’s T.M.A cheeses called the Psyberartist.

My tree project has certainly opened doors to meetings with some remarkable people! I’ll be following the professor’s progress as his work gathers more steam!

He will be releasing a book on Time Machine Aged wines, cheeses and whiskies. Until then – he kindly recommends the pre order of my book ‘The Art of Climbing Trees’. Climbing trees, – his second passion after quantum physics.

Some of his writings on TAGH’s can be downloaded here. His second seed TAGH experiment was recorded and can be seen here.

2 Years today! And here’s to independence!!

It was two years since I started UpTrees, climbing a tree every day – 17th May 2010 – which is also Norwegian independence day, from Sweden. I don’t understand, – I thought it was independence from Denmark all this time! As it turns out Norway wanted their own king after the independence and invited a Danish Prince to do the job! – It’s a crazy world.

Getting the book together is becoming more of a reality now having met the brilliant book designer Welmoet Wartena who is keen to explore what the book could be! So… I’m going to try publishing a twitter post each day of this year with the tree I climbed on that day. This one below: Tree 293 – in the tree on Ski’s because Norwegians love skiing… More on that next year when I get to it!

Please sign up to the twitter feed, (top right),  if you use that sort of thing, or the UpTrees facebook group, or this blog. I’ll be posting news of the book and maybe launching a crowd funding campaign before long too.

You can still order art prints and commission a tree dedication from the shop.
If you want to start from the beginning you can jump back to May 17th 2010 here.

Tree 367 :: dissecting trees ::

15th June 2011
Oslo Botanical Garden, Norway.

This is the end. Although this particular end is a beginning so you’re not too late…

This will be a sort of double bill end… this is part one. Part two covers the end in more detail. 

It is time. Hard to believe it was May when the project came crashing to an end – like Shrodingers tree. Seems I’ve needed to ‘recover’ before writing something. Well… recover and earn money to pay off debts.

One way or other I’m here to update this story that already feels like a distant memory. It’s hard to believe I actually did that, – Every day like someone bizarrely obsessed. Like someone with tourettes of the arms and legs gesticulating me up trees. A kind of weird hunter, always with an eye on the trees scouting for something unusual, or possible. All with a ‘vain’ hope of a purpose of course. I’ll now always be that person for good or ill who stubbornly climbed more than 365 trees, at least one every day for a year. It really is strange to think I did that. Like I’ve come out of a psychosis. A good one I think. I’m glad I did it.

This is the first tree I’ve climbed, you could say, for over a year without ‘having to’. Or as part of a ‘job’. This climb will now become a part of the book so it’s been transformed into ‘work’. However, drinking wine, sat in a tree on a sunny day, thats what it’s about… I’d sort of lost a bit of perspective on it all. Began to fret over not fitting it all in, all the ideas I had, all the particular trees I wanted to climb or the people I wanted to meet for the project.

At the same time I began to wonder why I was doing it at all. Been important to leave it aside for a bit. Let the field fallow. Left too long and the field would become unrecognisable and a bugger to work. Could become a meadow or a forest if left long enough, which may not be a bad thing depending on how hungry you are. I for one am quite hungry and keen for a year of my life to be more than just distant memories. If I lost you, – the field is where all this work took place and I need to shape what grows there before it turns to brambles in my head. I don’t want it to become just a story told in a pub on the 17th May each year. The guy who climbed trees. Then finally nothing. Not even the trees. All dead.

Well… it will come to that but maybe I can squeeze a book out before then. So how do you turn a pebble into a ripple on the water? The an exertion, and a bit of hope and belief. As the wine glass window shows, my memory of the whole experience is remembered. Distorted, beautiful and not quite as it actually was. A period of gathering the material, pruning it and resowing. Or, collecting the appropriate stones, throwing them in the right direction, (i.e. not inside a greenhouse), and then hoping the water doesn’t turn to ice before the stone lands.

People and trees I didn’t get to climb in or with but hope to draw into the next project were for example a 9000 year old tree on a mountain and a dude who used to own 10,000 apple trees and then sold them to a corporation who cut them all down to plant more efficient trees, both in Sweden. A 4000 year old Ewe tree in Wales,  Mark Boyle – the ‘Moneyless Man’, my mum and dad and brother, dozens of people who I climbed with and who I wanted to do a follow up climb with. Caroline Lucas, although she’d probably not been seen dead in a tree with me considering she may want to distance herself from that kind of image, (hippies climbing trees). I didn’t get to climb with Jonas  Selberg Augusten, – the director of ‘The tree lover’, and conclude the final chapter to the bird story at the tree house hotel. Or spend time at the Tree house community who have battled the authorities for the right to stay where they are and carve out another way of living closer to nature. I didn’t get to climb with Steve Gough, the ‘Naked Rambler’ and friend in a Scottish prison, and talk about freedom and what it is to be yourSELF, or meet Shaun Chamberlain, -co author of the white paper outlining TEQ’s, – energy rationing as dreamed up by David Fleming. I didn’t get to… etc. There’s a list as long as 3 of my arms, a leg and a piece of string of ‘great’ ideas but the same is true of this project as of Forest Gump’s box of chocolates. Not only do you not know what you’re going to get but the little lumps will run out sooner or later.

It has to be said that despite not doing this and that up trees, I did eat a crap load of good chocolate, metaphorically speaking of course.

80 people interviewed. Many more climbed with. 365 plus trees. All weather. Learning. Teaching. Inspiration – at least I’ve been inspired!

‘Rehabrd’, ’444trees’, ‘Who wants to chip in and plant a forest?’, (to come) ‘World General Strike’ -(also coming soon), all off shoot projects and were seeded by UpTrees. Very exciting.

I was winched into a tree by the fire-brigade for local TV, met professors, tree consultants, a belly dancer, a band on a mission to cycle their tour around europe carrying all their equipment on their bikes, got work though it, had an exhibition, gathered my whole family for a Family Tree party, was evicted from the party by the Caterers, collaborated with an Indian Block print carpenter, climbed the Christmas tree given to London by Oslo before it was cut down, met great people who are and have changed the world. I’ve found out a few things about myself… found out climbing a tree nude is both liberating and scratch inducing, begun to learn how to talk to the press and how bloody hard it is. Spent all my money. Travelled. Rediscovered the joy of trains. Climbed with thousands of ants. Seen birds, scared birds (by default), spoken to 500 people at a Pecha Kucha about it all and led a ceremony with them about being family and Mycorrhiza Fungi. And written a rough book, (scribbled in 15 note pads and waiting to be transformed).

So… dissecting trees. That’s a strange job. Should have met someone who does that for a living. See part two…

Tree 321 :: who’s the April fool on Bygdøy Allé ::

1st April 2011
Bygdøy Allé, Oslo, Norway.
Tree: Horse Chestnut


What an interesting day! I set out to do an April fool prank except the more I spoke to people, the more I realised it really wasn’t a joke. I set it up wrong and at the end of the day the idea is something I believe in.

I should have said it is happening. That Bygdøy Allé in Oslo, a 1.8 km long road, where the trees are threatened with being axed because they are dying of pollution poisoning from buses and cars. That it is being turned into a long park. I should have asked people for what they wanted to see in their new parkland, that would be completed in 2016. That the planned road removal would begin in early 2012. Then I would have had more dramatic reactions. See RehabRd.com to get involved – a side project to UpTrees. Also see the full size images I made to sell the idea.

People were in favour and opposed for different reasons but turn up the heat and things would have got even more interesting. Outrage and joy I expect, and also suspicion. You tell people a massive porky and their 1st of April antennae pop out. In Norway anyway. Which would have been fun. See how well I could lie.

I sold it as asking for signatures for a consultation process. I had mocked up paperwork for a planning application.

If you were one of the signers in good faith I thank you. I guess I was too genuine and the idea of a consultation a possibility. I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but then thats the point I suppose, to get our hopes up so high that we are compelled to follow through.

So, it became a ‘serious’ political campaign – the smallest campaign ever launched, other than the ones that happen during conversations in pubs between friends. I’ll need to send it all into the council now too. All the better anyway I suppose but I’d have liked their ideas on what they would have wanted. Also have set up a website with information, all official looking and interactive. It’s not too late, and what happened was a beginning.

Feels like something started today with all the genuine concerns people had, and positivity. If nothing is done to curb the traffic, this tree I was in, one of the famous Horse Chestnut trees that line the 1.8 km street, will be felled. All 1.8 km of them. There’s a song, I may have mentioned it before, about ‘the flowering chestnut trees on Bygdøy Allé’. Would be ironic to chop them down. Someone suggested trying to give them some kind of chemicals to protect them… pretty unbelievable but that’s how we think these days. Treat the symptoms rather than the cause.

The arguments against change seemed to be based on a kind of romance, – the cars are a part of the city and this street, also economics and easy transport. None of these are good arguments in my book.

I bought this little pot of grass from the shop over the road. If actual change is represented by turf, then this pot 6cm across is a good picture of how far I’ve / we’ve come. 1.8 km of turf ÷ 6cm squared. How many people pushing the idea would that take?

I’d say 50% of the people I spoke with signed the paper in favour of a consultation. 20% were in too much of a hurry, and the remainder had their various objections. Here is a rough translation of what people said. The * indicates if they signed the petition.

‘Where would the cars go’?
‘It’s one of the landmarks’.
‘Place the main road out of the city would be good’.
‘The chestnuts shall flower, and the cars shall drive’. (except this is of course impossible)
‘I moved away from the country to get more city’.
‘The image shows a bit much of a good thing, but it’s in the right direction’ *
‘I don’t have time to look’.
‘I would like to save the chestnuts’ *
‘It’s difficult when I’ve got a dog with me’.
‘I would  like less cars and more green, but I don’t want to discuss it, I just want to go home’
‘I like parks’ *
‘We want to research it more, before we sign, but live on Bygdøy and we notice the trees fall early in autumn’.
‘I don’t have strong opinions about it. I’d rather support a system where only buses were allowed for example. The person who designed this, obviously has a particular vision’.
‘You haven’t had more signatures?’ * (‘I only just started’).‘It would be very cosy with a park – absolutely!’ *


One of the people I met told me about a green activist who had once wanted to stop the buses going down Bygdøy Allé, which I found to be a surprising solution. The traffic is obviously a big problem and has been for a while.

Why anyone would want to cling onto stinky noisy traffic in favour of nature right in the city I don’t know. The shop over the road sold flowers and plants. They had them layed out on the pavement outside. I like that connection. Again, another glimmer of what is possible, like a possible future was peering through the tarmac.

This entire 1.8 km could be covered in flowers – if people could see it, let go of their dated ideas about what a city can be and also wanted it. The people who liked it, really liked it.



Could a movement be born?

So… who is the April fool? Me, freezing on a street corner asking for signatures for a fake petition… or the world that can’t see past what’s already in front of them? And if we don’t see past the obvious – it may become too late.

Tree 294 :: skiing uptrees ::

5th March 2011
Oslo Botanical garden, Oslo, Norway.

This was a little heads up to the other sports people today… winning for Norway. I can talk a bit about a nationalistic spirit but later.

I will be attempting to climb a tree next time wearing skis. Utterly ridiculous. Anything for the environment. Watch this space.